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    December 12

    睡觉

     
     
     火车上睡了整整一个多小时,坐在那里睡的,这是近两年练就的本事,只要头靠着东西,两分钟内保证睡着。所以每次坐火车、坐飞机、坐公交车都是莫大的享受。我甚至可以在半梦半醒之中听见自己打呼,醒来若无其事抹掉一把口水,或虚伪地问上身边人一句:我没打呼吧……其实这也是一种境界
     不知何时喜欢上了睡觉,尤其在想忘记些什么事的时候,毫无疑问那只是短暂的逃避,这些年来尝试着不同远离烦恼的方法,我从不讳疾忌医,但是思维的麻痹对于我这样一个大懒人来说,绝对具有无尽的快感。有时候,猪的生活还是让人羡慕的
     小时候,喜欢和妈妈一起睡,小男孩大概都喜欢粘着母亲,睡在母亲身旁仿佛就是被关心呵护着;后来,我长大了,觉得男子汉和女的睡是要“老面皮”的,可怜我那双小脚丫一直哇凉哇凉,我就抱着伟岸的爸爸睡那简直就是灌满热水的汤婆子;再后来,我成熟了,必须一个人睡,我也喜欢上了一个人睡,睡觉的时候我可以尽情地性幻想,把平时那些可远观而不可亵玩的女同学女明星们统统占为己有身体可以毫无顾忌地耍流氓;再再后来,我和大多数功能与取向正常的男人一样,喜欢搂着女人睡,当然,那样睡得有点累……(此处省略56789字)
     学生时代读古诗词时容易睡着,其实古人有嗜睡的,也有失眠的,还有喜欢性幻想的
     “春眠不觉晓,处处闻啼鸟”这是孟浩然睡得太香流了口水,闻到了鸟语花香
     “月落乌啼霜满天,江枫渔火对愁眠”这是张继在落榜之后,辗转反侧,考虑是不是半夜去苏州郊外睡个小妞
     “转朱阁,低绮户,照无眠。不应有恨”这是苏东坡在杭州吃了八块大肥肉后,撑得睡不着,恨自己嘴太馋
     “昨夜雨蔬风骤,浓睡不消残酒。试问卷帘人,却道海棠依旧。知否?知否?应是绿红肥瘦”这是李清照股票大跌以后,借酒消愁不胜酒力而睡,醒来后对着李格非的遗像抱怨怎么生出这么一个笨小孩
     “黯乡魂,追旅思,夜夜除非,好梦留人睡。明月楼高休独倚,酒入愁肠,化作相思泪”这是范仲淹在异乡做官时,焕发了第二春,夜夜思念梦到初恋情人,醒来发现自己内裤湿了,只能独自流泪
     “残睡觉来人又晚,难忘,便是无情也断肠”这是晏几道年过半百还没找到合适的另一半,终于发现隐藏半世的性取向问题瞒不住了
     “床前明月光,疑是地上霜”这是李白半夜起来上厕所,发现走进了女厕所,遥想起前几天把月光看成了落霜,他确定自己一定是近视眼
     “泥融飞燕子,沙暖睡鸳鸯”这是杜甫怕背上老牛吃嫩草的骂名,闷骚着意淫和动物进行性幻想的场景……
     
     那首诗不是写道:做爱日当午,汗滴床下褥。谁知呻吟声,次次皆辛苦
         其实,当在鲁迅笔下阿Q对吴妈大呼一声“我要和你睡觉”后,睡觉的主流释义就已经改变了
     

    Comments (8)

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    黑玉石wrote:
    侬老好白鲞额,8过捆觉8好随便黑捆 额~~~嘿嘿
    Mar. 1
    Picture of Anonymous
    mingju wrote:
    好!把个睡觉引出那么多的古诗,经典的释译独有个性,老妖太妖了!
    Dec. 27
    No namewrote:
    其实能够倒头而睡是件很幸福的事:)
    Dec. 26
    Athena Jiangwrote:
    哈哈,LZ在yy别人的yy
    Dec. 20
    恒 瞬心wrote:
    经典啊  境界啊  哈哈
    Dec. 16
    yue wangwrote:
    难道这就是转说中的“社会学”~~汗
    Dec. 14
    rae dingwrote:
    喜糖的点评,经典!
    Dec. 13
    JJ Guowrote:
    以前只听说上床并不等于睡觉,看了老妖的睡觉才发现,上床基本8会睡觉,睡觉基本8在床上。
    Dec. 13

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