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    May 04

    五四青年

     
     
          五四青年节,我这把骨头,已然不知道自己是否还在其行列,貌似16-28岁的都还可以称为青年,我芳龄“三九”,勉强赶上了末班车,但满脸沧桑已无法遮掩岁月对我摧残的痕迹,青年,不知该解释为青春年华,还是该理解为眼圈发青的年岁……或许10年前,我还每天对着镜子,为自己脸上的“青春痘”发愁,如今却早已一豆难求,或许10年前,我还能在五四这天,手举德先生和赛先生的标语,在校园里愤青一下,如今却只能用发抖的手举着酒杯颤微着往自己嘴里灌闷酒……
          我反复地问自己,如果时光可以倒转,我愿意回到哪个年龄而不再长大?
          也许是18岁时候的状态吧,比较满意也比较喜欢,那年,我雄心勃勃踌躇满志地写了篇名为《十八抒怀》的文章,是语文课的作业,深夜我享受着自己挥之不尽的精力,在应急灯的鬼火下,把自己对青春的赞美留恋和对未来的憧憬抱负,记录在了作文本上,得了95分,如果分数可以衡量青春的色彩,那我的青春一定是最让我骄傲的,那个年代,是我人生最逍遥自在、无拘无束的时光,不羁的我,无时无刻不热爱着生活,品味着生活,体验过“对酒当歌,人生几何”的酣畅,经历过“功盖三分国,名成八阵图”的显赫,感受过“墙里秋千墙外道,多情却被无情恼”的孤独无奈,面对过“蜀道难,难于上青天”的困惑,也拥有过“长风破浪会有时,直挂云帆济沧海”的自信。无论如何,那时的忧伤总能被欢笑代替,那时忧虑总能被坚毅换取。
          就像那首歌里唱的,我不想不想长大,长大后世界就没童话,长大后我就会失去他……我确实失去了那一次次的曾经,如果世界还有童话的话,我大概也只能无奈地给自己带上面具了。
     
     

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